HIS vs. HERS: How We Tell Stories

HIS vs. HERS: How We Tell Stories

D, my boyfriend, and I have been together since March 18, 2019 (not really that long, though it seems like it’s been a while). Friends and family, especially early on, asked me how the two of us met. Something D said while out to dinner last night made me think about the story of how we met, and how different the same event is through two different sets of eyes. I started to get a little nerdy thinking about how often people perceive the same event or situation in such a different way, or rather how they choose to describe it so differently. D pointed out key details - the little things that caught his eyes - while I, well, I describe EVERYTHING. See for yourself with the story, told from each of our perspectives, and then tell me if you’ve ever experienced this with something in your life.

My Version - Because… ladies first, right?

It was a Saturday morning and downtown O’Fallon shops were having some sort of Open House event to promote shopping local. Melissa and I got there relatively early and walked the downtown strip of shops a couple of times, peeking in and out of the different shops to see what everyone had, and then a second ‘circle back’ to decide on what we wanted to get. Ash texted to let me know her and her bf were headed down, but M was done shopping so I took her home and then met Ash and her beau at the coffee shop. From there, we walked over to Bike Surgeon to “drop off” the bf, and then Ash and I would walk so she could see what all of the shops had on sale or were featuring that day. I stood at the back of Ash’s car while she looked through the trunk for reusable shopping bags. I looked up and saw D leaning against the garage door, a Goose Island Green Line in hand. I noticed his gauged ears and the scruff on his face. I was immediately physically attracted.

Ash and I began to walk and as soon as we were out of earshot, I asked her to text her beau and find out who the gorgeous man was drinking the 312 and leaning against the garage. Her beau texted back that he didn’t know the guy and I was bummed. Ash and I made our way back to Bike Surgeon and D was still there! Yes! Except I am probably the shyest and most socially awkward person EVER when I find myself attracted to a stranger in a situation like this. I don’t know what to say or how to be myself. The nervousness sets in and I freeze up so I just don’t talk at all. So that’s what I did. A guy Ash and I know from work rode into the shop, and started talking to both Ash’s beau and D. What? Was this my “in”? My way to enter into the conversation and maybe hit it off? Nope. Sure wasn’t. Those three guys stood there and talked about bikes and riding for who knows how long. I haven’t owned a bike since elementary school, and the last time I rode was on a rental in Vancouver in May 2016. Eventually, the conversation died down a bit. D excused himself and walked out of the shop. I watched him get in his car and drive away, and thought about how I ruined an opportunity to meet someone new. Until a couple of weeks later…

His Version

I was up at Bike Surgeon. A group of us had just finished a Saturday morning ride, so I was sweaty and gross, and it was 10:00 AM, and I was drinking a beer already. I looked up, out the garage and saw you walking down the street, and thought, “Who is that tattoo-covered girl? I’ve got to meet her.” I remember thinking how your hair looked, how beautiful you were, and wanting to see what your tattoos were. I just thought, “I’ve got to meet her.” Then, later, you and your friends walked straight into Bike Surgeon and right past me. When I saw Ash’s boyfriend talking to Dan, I came over. I caught you looking at me a couple of times, but we were all talking in a group.

I asked Dan your name and he said he didn’t know; he just knew that the two of you worked in the same building. So I found Ash’s boyfriend on Facebook, which led me to her, which is how I found you to send you that Facebook message. By the time Dan got back to me with your name, I’d already found you through Ash and sent you that message.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

That Facebook message was sent approximately three weeks after we saw each other at the bike shop. We went out the next night for dinner, and essentially got kicked out of the restaurant around 11:00 PM since it was a Tuesday night, they were closing, and we were the only ones left in there. The details of what transpired the rest of the week, and the gap between that series of 4 days, and then us getting together in March - well, that’s a story for another time.

It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see
- Henry David Thoreau

Do you keep things short and sweet like D, or give all of the details, “set the stage”, and then dive into the story?

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