The 'Other' Son

The 'Other' Son

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I wanted to touch on a little subject here, that has been brought to my attention the past month. I have two beautiful, adventurous, crazy boys. They are each different in their own right. I thought I knew them. I mean, I am their mother right? Wrong. I have known my youngest as ‘brother’.

Hear me out. When I had my oldest it was just him and I. Day in and day out, for better or worse, it was just the two of us. I watched his personality emerge daily and it was amazing. We built a very strong bond and I know him really well. He is my strong, silent, emotionally charged son with the largest heart and so much love flowing from his being. I have known him for four years now, two of those without his brother in the picture.

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When my youngest was born, we too spent day in and day out together (I’m a stay-at-home mom) but I guess I never realized that also, alongside him, was my oldest. I have only known my youngest as brother, never a true individual.

Sure we have spent some time alone but never enough to fully comprehend the fact that he is, in fact, an individual. I know this may sound crazy to a few of you. It definitely sounds a little crazy to me. My oldest, two weeks ago, started his Kinder Prep school. For the record, he absolutely loves it! He goes three days a week, for three hours each day. Three solid hours.

I guess I didn’t realize what that meant for my youngest and myself.

The first day we kind of just stared at each other. I decided to do something that I hadn’t done since having a second kiddo, at least not very often, we went thrifting. Thrifting is something that my oldest and I would do just to get out of the house. And it was so much fun exploring and treasure hunting with him. On this outing my youngest and I got to know each other a little bit better. And that’s when the lightbulb went off in my head and I realized that I actually don’t know him, as him. He showed me parts of himself that day that had been hidden from me on the day-to-day. And he has shown me, slowly, other parts of his personality throughout the past few weeks.

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He is such a charismatic ball of joy, energy, and comedy. He is a goofball to the core and just wants to be happy and explore his world. It’s really interesting what people choose to show you at certain times. I don’t know if it’s because I hadn’t been paying close enough attention or if he knows that his brother needs most of the attention. But whatever it was I’m glad he feels vulnerable enough to show me it now.

I have felt us grow closer over these past few weeks and there is a different understanding and love that we have for one another. Motherhood is one huge mystery but I am loving the new twists and turns it is bringing me.

-Jazz

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