Now & Then
Things are changing. So many changes for me - just in the last two weeks alone. I’m now a full-time Belleville resident. I’ve fully moved into my boyfriend’s house and I’ve accepted a contingent offer on my house, which will hopefully close some time in the next month. I resigned from my job of nearly three years last Monday. Friday is my last day in the office, and Monday I embark on a new, exciting, different journey with a new company. Friday, I hopped in the car and drove straight to Chicago after work for a weekend getaway, only to have my car rear-ended, which means I’m now in a rental car. So. Many. Changes. So. Fast.
What’s the point? With all of these adult decisions and not-so-small life changes in the last few weeks, I found myself reminiscing about the irony of, as an adult, thinking back to how simple life seemed as a child, and then thinking about how, as a child, we couldn’t wait to grow up and be an adult and make all of our own choices and have a big, important job and do whatever we wanted. Kids sure do know how to dream! But what kids don’t know, and what even some adults have yet to realize, is that things really can be positive, simple, and happy - even through the stresses of everyday life and the various curveballs life throws us from time to time (or one after another, as of late).
Let’s back up a little. I haven’t been happy, fulfilled, or challenged with opportunities to grow at work in… well… longer than I’d like to admit. I kept hoping for a change, and then with some changes at work, realized that I needed to stop waiting for the change and make it happen. I slowly started applying to new positions but was picky, only applying to opportunities which appeared challenging, new, different, and exciting, but also with a realistic nature for success. Though it took longer to admit, I found myself in a toxic and negative environment, and I needed to re-place myself in a positive environment which would breed more positivity in my life. I think I’ve found that.
With the recent move into a living space which is not at all 100% MINE, we’ve all had to make some adjustments. I also recognized that I’d been taking a LOT of time for “us” and not taking as much for “me”, or for some of my friends. Cue hopping in the car to Chicago for the weekend. Friday, I stayed with my dear friend, C, who caught me up on a little turbulence in another friend’s life. The turbulence was so rough, actually, that another friend in our group hopped on a plane after work to go provide comfort and a weekend distraction. C and I sent a little pick-me-up to our dear, non-local friend - if nothing else, to brighten her day and ease having to start a new week with no friends around.
Saturday & Sunday were spent with a friend who was in Chicago as a vendor for an event; she lives in Georgia so the 4.5 hours to Chicago was 1/2 of what I’d drive to go visit her in Georgia. I jumped at the chance and don’t regret it in the slightest, even with my car in the shop for repairs as I type! Why? I needed time to be myself without chores or house projects, errands or yard work, more unpacking, or anything else. I just needed a little “fun” time, and I wasn’t getting that at work or at home. I recognized what I needed for me, which also happened to be providing something my friends needed (or wanted) - time. It’s so valuable, we don’t get it back, and giving it is something so many people don’t realize is SO incredibly selfless.
D, the man I’m crazy in love with, indirectly questioned my being “there” for friends in a couple of different situations. It’s hard to explain, especially when you’re put on the spot. Why are we there for our friends? Why are we so okay with dropping everything in a second, putting zero thought into it, to be there for each other? Why do we not question anything and hand over the money when someone is in need? Or send the pick-me-up gift? Or send the card? Or drive the 300+ miles, or do all of the things YOU have done for YOUR friends? Because, our friendships, unique from relationships I’ve had with men, or even with family, are ones of complete trust. My friends have been there for me in ways that a year-long, daily blog couldn’t cover. My friends have been completely selfless, trusting, trustworthy, loving, caring, ALL OF THE KIND WORDS to me. So I will never flench when it comes to breeding more positivity in these relationships.
With all of these changes, I am blessed to have my friends (and D) keeping me grounded, loved on, and smiling. With all of these changes, it’s important to remember that positivity breeds positivity, and negativity breeds negativity. Do positive things - for yourself and for those who are positive influences in your life. Show your appreciation for their positive impacts. And SLOW DOWN - you’ll never get this time back, ever. Use it wisely!